May. 11th, 2007

ladibug21: (Default)
Gawd it was so busy at work today. The last month has been SO slow. Just dead. It's like the cancer patients went on spring break. Suddenly today and yesterday I got slammed with 15 new patients. I'm over my head with work. I think I ordered from 15 different film libraries today. I'm starting to get really bored with this job. It's not requiring much brain power anymore. Not that it every really required much. I'm ready for something that pays more and requires some thinking. There is a position opening up in September that I'm considering. It's definitely more direct patient contact. I'm not sure how I feel about that exactly. I don't think it's what I want to do, but they will expect me to apply for it and I will be looked at negatively by management if I don't. I just don't know if I want to work with pediatric cancer patients and their families all day. There are upsides (like telling them we've found a bone marrow donor match) but there are also downsides. Like parents crying on the phone, kids dying, bitchy nurses. It's hard to separate yourself. I don't know how doctors do it.
I'd really like to move up into the other side of this gigantic company I work for. The more researchy side of things. Actually my ideal position would be working with the events and outreach woman. She's a powerhouse of fun and joy. Really. It would be awesome.

I started feeling kind of sick this afternoon. Just blah. Sort of headachy, weak, and really tired. I hope it's not a cold because there is something going around the office. Ordinarily I love my little bike ride home, but today I was feeling really weak. The thought of climbing up that hill and trying to make it look like I wasn't dying sounded impossible at 4:30. I have to at least make it to the top of the hill moderately fast because there's a very popular cafe where inevitably someone I know is sitting outside having coffee. I have this super-triathlete reputation to uphold and right now I'm not in very good biking shape. I can't get to the top of the hill looking like I'm about to fall apart. Once I'm on my street I usually do.

I'm both dreading and looking forward to my coffee date on Saturday. I'm trying to be positive and go with the flow...

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ladibug21

March 2009

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