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There is no God. If there was, she would NOT have me start my period on the hottest, 95 degree day of the year and include miserable cramps. Especially when I'm supposed to go swimming at the girlfriend's parents place.
ladibug21: (Default)
I woke up feeling extremely overheated in Cutie's bed this morning. Last night she brought one of her family's cats (I think they have five, I'm not sure) to live with her. The cat has four names - Kiki, Connie, Twiggy, Psyche, and I call her Pippen. Don't ask me why. She's a an incredibly sweet and sociable cat and seems to enjoy humans and not other cats. She slept on us the entire night. So I woke up with Cutie - the human radiator next me, a thick comforter, and K/C/T/P on me. It was too hot.

The weather is being weird too. It's hot out, maybe 80 degrees and muggy. It is also overcast. I feel like the only thing that sounds good is swimming outside. My head feels fuzzy and foggy and sort of confused. I feel this sort of strange heaviness that I've felt off and on lately. I feel like for the most part, this is a happy and positive time in my life (despite feeling weird today). I feel like I've made choices that have been good for me and needed to happen. Unfortunately, it doesn't always coincide with happy times in everyone else's life. I don't expect that everyone in my life has the same mind-frame that I do right now, but I DO expect that I'm not punished for it. I should be able to talk about what makes me happy and excited to be living without having some sort of negative ick pushed back on me.
ladibug21: (Default)
I'm melting....melllllllllllllllting. It's so hot. I've had enough. It can go back below 80 now thankyouverymuch. Blech. I can't deal. I think I'd be OK with it, but for some reason today I'm also have this really weird lightheaded feeling too. It only seems to happen when I go from sitting/lying to standing. This is not unusual for me, but it's pretty extreme today. I think it's the combination of allergy medication, coffee (lots of coffee), and heat that's making me feel this way. I'd really like to go to the grocery store and do laundry but I keep feeling really weak. I ate a sandwich and had about a gallon of water. Hopefully that will help?

It has been a marvelous weekend with NSF. I think I feel safe calling her my girlfriend now. I like that when I've been with her for awhile I have this longing sort of feeling when we part company. Not in a bad codependent way, just this sort of satisfied feeling that I'll see her again soon and I'll probably swoon again.

We spent a little bit of time in Georgetown which makes me really happy. I've only spent a teeny amount of time in Georgetown before but now I have a reason to go there since she lives pretty close. Part of me likes that she lives 15 minutes away because it's an excuse to get off of The Big Gay Hill. It also keeps us from spending every waking moment together which is bad for me in relationships. It kills it for me FAST. I desperately need to have my alone time. In part for me, but also to think about her and to think about us.

I'm not crazy about the idea of working tomorrow and I'm also not crazy that my momma has to fly to Oklahoma early tomorrow morning. My aunt is not doing well at all. She's very sick and I think it's close to her time to say goodbye. She has been sick for so long. So uncomfortable for so long.

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ladibug21

March 2009

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