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Apr. 2nd, 2006 02:21 pmDear Japan,
I am extremely disappointed with the lack of sakura blossoming yet. I was promised full bloom by April 1. I expect to see something by the end of next week.
No Love,
Christabel
Hello everybody,
Whew. What a week that was. There's no way to sum it up all at once. I'll try to be both positive and negative. Mostly, it was really hard. Just stressful every day. I think I worked between 60 and 70 hours this week. It's just ridiculous. In short, by the time I got to Friday (my Thursday) I fell apart. Around 4:00pm on Friday I felt my face and neck getting all red and I felt like passing out. My heart wouldn't stop beating really fast. I had lessons starting at 4:20pm and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I've only ever had one, but I knew what it was. So, this is the bad part, I lied and told them I was getting a migraine. I probably would have anyway. So I left for the afternoon and I was pretty sure that I had decided to leave. I just expected things to be better by Friday you know?
So I went home and rolled out futon stared into space for two straight hours. Then I called The Hobbs because I knew they would be awake. Wendy of course said I should come home immediatly, and I agreed at the time. So then I called mom, who tried to be unbiased; but of course she wants me to come home too. After those two phone calls I went to the minimart and got some green tea ice cream, a sweet roll, and some chocolate and ate it all with my blanket around me. Then I felt like yakking but I held in there. I can't believe I ate all that at once. gross. Anyway, I stared into space some more and then the doorbell rang. Just as I was brushing my teeth. I had this dorky ponytail and my jammies on and my sweatshirt and slippers. So I opened the door (always use the peephole!! always!) and there was my head teacher and manager. They came to make sure I was OK and brought me groceries. They apologized over and over and over and OVER about how bad my week had gone. Oh and there's more, the head teacher actually started crying when he started talking about how they hadn't paid enough attention to helping me during the week. I can't believe he started crying. I felt a little bad, but not really; I was treated like SHIT this week in regards to helping me settle into teaching. So I felt slightly redeemed and a little worried about my head teacher. Sensitive little bean.
So then I went to work on Saturday, and I was dreading it a little less because head teacher had told me that two of my classes had been cancelled and I only had one lesson (it's a long story about that). And head teacher was literally following me around like a puppy making sure I was OK. So I felt better about my day yesterday. And my one private lesson went well because *gasp!* I had time to prepare!
I'm going to keep sticking it out. One of the trainers from honbu (headquareters essentially) came out on Saturday afternoon to talk me out of quitting and she also semi-convinced me it will get better. I sort of believe her, but we'll see. Honestly, at this point I don't know what I think. I do know that I don't want to leave and hate myself or regret it. That would be worse. So I've got to see what happens. I can sort of somewhat tell that planning is getting a teeny bit easier. And I just really love Japan and there's so much I want to see and do. I just need to not dread work every day. I've done had that job before and I won't do it again.
There's just too much to say right now. I got my cell phone finally. It's super cute, has a bazillion functions. You would DIE VB. It's teal blue and super dooper cute.
I'm making friends here, I think. I really like the other teachers from my training group and my fellow teachers at the school (except for the other foreign teacher at my school who I loathe, but I just ignore him) It definitely doesn't feel like home but I'm starting to feel more connected to the place and feel a little nested in my apartment.
I still do not have internet access. Probably won't for awhile. So I can't respond to emails right now. I also haven't been responding to comments. I DO read them though! And I appreciate them! I miss you all very much. Don't worry about me though. I AM ok.
p.s. I'm sure there are a ton of spelling errors in this and as an English teacher that is horrible, but I'm too busy to spell check. sorry.
I am extremely disappointed with the lack of sakura blossoming yet. I was promised full bloom by April 1. I expect to see something by the end of next week.
No Love,
Christabel
Hello everybody,
Whew. What a week that was. There's no way to sum it up all at once. I'll try to be both positive and negative. Mostly, it was really hard. Just stressful every day. I think I worked between 60 and 70 hours this week. It's just ridiculous. In short, by the time I got to Friday (my Thursday) I fell apart. Around 4:00pm on Friday I felt my face and neck getting all red and I felt like passing out. My heart wouldn't stop beating really fast. I had lessons starting at 4:20pm and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I've only ever had one, but I knew what it was. So, this is the bad part, I lied and told them I was getting a migraine. I probably would have anyway. So I left for the afternoon and I was pretty sure that I had decided to leave. I just expected things to be better by Friday you know?
So I went home and rolled out futon stared into space for two straight hours. Then I called The Hobbs because I knew they would be awake. Wendy of course said I should come home immediatly, and I agreed at the time. So then I called mom, who tried to be unbiased; but of course she wants me to come home too. After those two phone calls I went to the minimart and got some green tea ice cream, a sweet roll, and some chocolate and ate it all with my blanket around me. Then I felt like yakking but I held in there. I can't believe I ate all that at once. gross. Anyway, I stared into space some more and then the doorbell rang. Just as I was brushing my teeth. I had this dorky ponytail and my jammies on and my sweatshirt and slippers. So I opened the door (always use the peephole!! always!) and there was my head teacher and manager. They came to make sure I was OK and brought me groceries. They apologized over and over and over and OVER about how bad my week had gone. Oh and there's more, the head teacher actually started crying when he started talking about how they hadn't paid enough attention to helping me during the week. I can't believe he started crying. I felt a little bad, but not really; I was treated like SHIT this week in regards to helping me settle into teaching. So I felt slightly redeemed and a little worried about my head teacher. Sensitive little bean.
So then I went to work on Saturday, and I was dreading it a little less because head teacher had told me that two of my classes had been cancelled and I only had one lesson (it's a long story about that). And head teacher was literally following me around like a puppy making sure I was OK. So I felt better about my day yesterday. And my one private lesson went well because *gasp!* I had time to prepare!
I'm going to keep sticking it out. One of the trainers from honbu (headquareters essentially) came out on Saturday afternoon to talk me out of quitting and she also semi-convinced me it will get better. I sort of believe her, but we'll see. Honestly, at this point I don't know what I think. I do know that I don't want to leave and hate myself or regret it. That would be worse. So I've got to see what happens. I can sort of somewhat tell that planning is getting a teeny bit easier. And I just really love Japan and there's so much I want to see and do. I just need to not dread work every day. I've done had that job before and I won't do it again.
There's just too much to say right now. I got my cell phone finally. It's super cute, has a bazillion functions. You would DIE VB. It's teal blue and super dooper cute.
I'm making friends here, I think. I really like the other teachers from my training group and my fellow teachers at the school (except for the other foreign teacher at my school who I loathe, but I just ignore him) It definitely doesn't feel like home but I'm starting to feel more connected to the place and feel a little nested in my apartment.
I still do not have internet access. Probably won't for awhile. So I can't respond to emails right now. I also haven't been responding to comments. I DO read them though! And I appreciate them! I miss you all very much. Don't worry about me though. I AM ok.
p.s. I'm sure there are a ton of spelling errors in this and as an English teacher that is horrible, but I'm too busy to spell check. sorry.
