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Ugh. and double ugh.

While parking my car this evening I accidentally scraped the car in front of me on the bumper. Normally, if it's just a bumper and there's no damage, I'd just drive away; but it looked like there was a good scrape on one of the more plasticy parts of the bumper. The parking space was obviously far too small for even my little car to fit into. I started searching around for a pen and could not find one anywhere. Not in my bag, not in the glovebox, nowhere. I was feeling kind of stressed and this GIANT child molester van pulled up behind me. I was on a street I'm not particularly fond of due to it's narrow width. I had to move so the creepy van could get by. I went and found another parking space then ran home to get a pen and paper. I went back to leave a note on the car and either they already moved it, there was no scratch and I'm just seeing things, or they're out hunting for red cars and revenge. Either way I feel bad. Good reason to keep a pen in your car. Sigh.

I saw a naturopathic doctor who specializes in physical medicine yesterday. Basically a ND/physical therapist. I feel like I'm finally taking good steps towards healing my back, or at least making it feel better. He did a full and thorough assessment and found it alarming that it's been hurting for 5 years and no one has yet taken an x-ray or MRI. I think part of it is that I hurt it when I was 25. I never sought proper medical care back then because I was young and dumb and when I finally did, I didn't see the right person. I'm getting x-rays next week and possibly more tests depending on what the x-rays show. He also did some manipulation during the appointment, including my neck and chest which was fairly terrifying. You know how on TV and in movies they show someone getting their neck adjusted and it's this rapid jerk of the neck to one side, followed by a loud CRACK? That's exactly how it was. Except I was positioned on a long table and I had my eyes closed. It took a lot of concentration for me to just take a deep breath and trust that this man was not going to make me a quadriplegic. He managed to do both sides of my neck successfully and it actually felt kind of good once the terror wore off. He also cracked my chest which was also unnerving. He had me sit up, legs forward, and arms across my chest. Then I gently laid back down on the table with my chin tucked in. He then did some kind of ninja PT move and thrust a ton of weight on my chest. It popped all of of ribs back into place. At least that's how it felt. It felt really good after that. I was glad it didn't knock the wind out of me or make my heart feel funny. Obviously he's an expert. He seems to be very enthusiastic about helping me. I think he could tell, based on the 10 million other appointments I've had, the number of people I've seen, and the frustration in my voice; that I'm ready to get better.

My boss is off all of next week and I'm a bit nervous. She has me on her voice mail and email as the "go-to" person which is fine and flattering, but I'm sooo scared. I've only been there a month! The only person I can go to during this time with questions is the big scientist leading the study and he's hardly ever in his office and I feel funny bothering him with anything. Hopefully all will go smoothly. I'm a good troubleshooter and I think I can handle it. If not I'm just going to shut my office door and hide under my desk.
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It's a little lonely in my new office all by myself. I confess I miss Tiny and her demanding princessness sitting in the cubicle next to me. I haven't really made any friends in my new job yet, aside from my boss. My boss is fantastic and is EXACTLY what I'd hoped for. I've been overdue for a nice boss for a long time now. She's taking her son (he's temping) and I out to sushi lunch tomorrow. I'm so excited. What's so amazing is that I'm getting BOTH positive feedback and constructive criticism. I sort of feel like that's how it's supposed to work with one's supervisor. I never feel bad when I get constructive criticism from her, and I always beam when I get positive feedback.
I'm not sure I'm going to make a friend like the ones I've made at my last three longer jobs. I'm going to have to be more assertive in my friend-making in this job and it makes me want to hide under my desk and lock my office door. I don't need a BFF, I just need someone I can gossip with on occasion and eat lunch on the roof with here and there. The woman who has an office across from mine is a potential friend candidate. She has a child. He's about 18 months old. I met him by complete accident as he came wandering into my office one day wearing a sailor suit. I about passed out from cute overload. Normally, that sort of thing comes off as too much on a kid that age, but he worked it so well I was won over. So cute. He also marched right up to me and started flirting, how could I help but fall for him? Anyway, she's been awfully nice and chatty to me. I need to be less shy and come out of my office more, but sometimes it feels like a party (a really lame party where I have to collate and update databases) where I don't really know anyone and there's no open bar.
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My boss popped her head in my office at 3:45 in the afternoon and said "Why don't you call it a day? It's so quiet and boring here right now."
I couldn't believe it. After my last job, I just felt so SPECIAL. Especially since I was doing one of those tasks you do at the end of the day when you've finished everything else.
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God, I'm such a DORK.

In my new building I really don't know my way around so well. It is a GIGANTIC building with lots of winding hallways that all basically look the same. Today I was trying to find the locker room and I came around a familiar corner where there is an odd piece of artwork that everyone had been discussing at lunch. Basically it's this giant prong-rack similar to the type they use at stores like Target to hang multiple goods of the same type. Except on this rack there is nothing but different colored (painted) pennies in mini ziplock bags. (it's weird!)
So I came around the corner quickly and there were two people looking at the artwork, right in my path or determination and instead of going behind them I accidentally cut too far toward the artwork and, of course, ran into it. It made a terrible crashing sound and almost came off the wall. THANK GOD IT DID NOT. Several of the prongs did and oh god, who knows where they were supposed to go. So I sort of pretended like I knew and put them back on. Sigh. This is my life.

Yesterday while walking down a hallway with my new boss I accidentally walked into someones rack of bins hanging on their office door and knocked it off.

Both days this week I've felt like the dorky new kid at school. I can't wait to become such a familiar face that everyone isn't looking at me all the time. It makes me so nervous. I forgot what it's like.

So far it's a good fit I think. I was starting to feel worried today that I'm not quite up-to-snuff in my computer skills and was feeling really bad about it. Especially with Access. I've used the program a bit but it's been YEARS. I haven't done much query or form creating. I was feeling bad about it and then at around 3:30 my boss said in an exasperated voice "you learn to fast! I don't have anything left!" So I felt much, much better after that.
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Today was my first day at my new job. All in all, it was a good day. I was tired all day which didn't help my comprehension at all. I forgot how exhausting starting a new job is. All that remembering. There is so much new information. It's ALL important too. In general, things are MUCH calmer, quieter, and kinder. I can just tell the stress level is different. The stress is more of an academic -'striving for success and perfection' than blaming type stress of working in a clinical setting. I feel like I will want to be successful in my new job because I feel like the study is important. Whereas in my old job, I had no real motivation to do a good job (even though I DID do an excellent job) because there was no positive feedback (EVER) and there was no reward for doing a good job. I never got to see the outcome for the patient, or hear what a positive experience it was for them.

It's so hard to tell from my first day how things will go. I work with mostly women still, but they are a different kind of women. I am the "baby" of the group which I can tell is going to make them all mother me. Including my boss. I suppose that's fine. It's a constant theme in my life and I'm used to it. Yes, I wear a helmet when I bike. Yesssss, I always wear sunscreen. Yessss, I brought a lunch to work.

I met the principal research scientist today and liked him immediately which is a good sign. My boss had nothing but gushing things to say about him, which is refreshing. She said he's the nicest scientist she's met, so I'm relieved. He said he was impressed with my resume. Well, la-te-daa to that. So am I.

Cutie came over last night kind of late and was both exhausted and hungry I could tell. I fed her quesadillas with peppers and onions, nudged her into the shower and tucked her into my bed. I guess I kind of like to mother people too. I can't help it. I was trained that way.

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. This week has been exhausting. I highly recommend not starting a new job in the middle of the week with no break from your old job. Bad idea.
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I have kind of a heavy heart today. I think it has finally hit me that today was my last day at my job. I will not miss my work, or my managers, but I sure will miss my friends. I know I'll only be two blocks away, but it's not the same. I suspect there will be some loneliness in my new job. I will be in an office by myself and I have a feeling I will miss being able to talk to my friends whenever the need arises. It will take some getting used to. I feel that in my new job the pros will definitely outweigh the cons. I have to go with my gut.

Tonight is one of those nights where I just need a nice big warm hug from someone, anyone, that I love. I invited Cutie over but she's bogged down with work and has hardly had a moment to herself since getting back from NY. She needs a night to recoup, which is totally fine with me.

I'm feeling anxious and scared and suddenly not-so-sure about my new job. I'm getting burnt out with the transitions and I hope this is the last one for awhile.
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I have two days left in my current job. It's still kind of hard to believe. I feel exhausted when I think about the fact that I'm again starting another new job. You know how some people bounce around from relationship to relationship? That's how I am with jobs apparently. I'd rather it was my job than my relationships.

The temp and I ran out of stuff to do today and the last half hour was agonizingly boring. I sent out a call for help asking for work from anyone and everyone tomorrow. Unfortunately we are strongly discouraged from surfing the web when there's nothing to do, but instead are expected to continuously ask our coworkers for work to do, to the point at which it becomes annoying to them. Reason number 980981239021398 that I'm glad to be leaving.

Big BIG boss also asked for 10 minutes of my time today. She wants to speak to me before I leave. I can only imagine what that's about. I'm already dreading it. I will only be honest with her. Definitely not mean, or angry, but honest. Hopefully she just wants to know why I'm leaving.

This weekend was FANNNNNTASTIC. Not only was Cutie home from NY, but it was pride weekend. Unfortunately, she got really sick on Saturday (food poisoning), so we spent a lot of time lying around with me scratching her head and fetching glasses of water and Milk of Magnesia. She felt much better by Saturday night, but by then we were zonked out and didn't get to do any of the party-partying. It was OK because we still made it to the parade on Sunday. I feel like the parade was kind of a letdown. It felt too big, along too much of a stretch. I didn't feel that usualy camaraderie that happens at pride. I guess there's something missing by not having it on Broadway. I know there are many more reasons to NOT have it on Broadway, but it felt a little sad and lonely. It was strange to have all these tourists walking by who have no idea what is going on. It was also COLD. I'm used to being a little sunburned and a little drunk at pride. I also confess I was wondering where all of my friends were.

I think I'm a little stressed about starting my new job on Thursday. I KNOW I am actually. I've had a headache all day and I had one all day on Friday until exactly 5:01pm. I think I'll feel better once I get through Wednesday and am done with training the temp and stressing out about finding stuff for her to do all day. That's actually far more stressful.

Cutie lowers my blood pressure. If I just think of her, I feel better.
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Today was a better day!

I ended up swimming last night. I didn't go to Masters practice because I got chicken, but I swam at the gym instead. I didn't feel pukey either! (last time the constant wake from their shitty lane lines made me sick) I realized I have a bit of work to do before I'll feel comfortable going to a masters practice. I know how those workouts go. When I swam on the UW Masters team they killed me. Every practice. Given, I was also biking and running and weight training. They do take those practices seriously. They are not unlike my college swim practices where I was burning so many calories I might as well have been eating some Gu while in the pool.

We were moderately busy most of the day at work, until 3:30 when we ran out of stuff to do. I had to get creative in the afternoon and we ended up helping out some other people. I felt really bad because the poor temp looked so bored beyond belief. I was bored just hearing myself talk. I HOPE tomorrow will be busier, but I doubt it. Today I had two interactions in the office that reminded me why it's a GOOD thing that I'm moving on.

Tonight I'm going for a run (my first in MONTHS). Just a shortie. Maybe 15 minutes or less. I know exactly what's happening. I'm slowly training for a triathlon. It's like a DISEASE. I can't stop. I just want to do one. Just one in the fall. I'm sick of the gym so automatically my brain starts thinking of activities outside the gym that might entertain me and of course they are - swimming, biking and running.

I have one load in the washer and I might try and do another if Irritating Hippie Guy isn't waiting there with a load when I get downstairs. After all that I'm having a beer and some dinner. I feel like I deserve a beer or two.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, Cutie comes home tomorrow. I pick her up in the evening. Can. Not. Wait.
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Don't you love it when this happens? )

Today was kind of a blah day. I haven't had a blah day in awhile so I guess I'm overdue. I feel especially fat right now since Gym and I had our big breakup. I'm thinking about going tomorrow morning. I think part of the reason I feel so blah is that my exercise regimen is all screwy since I started dating Cutie. I think I need to start going to the gym more regularly until I get this whole swim team thing sorted out.

My boss emailed me to tell me that they have a temp coming on Wednesday to replace me. I guess I'm training her for a week. I feel like this is too long and I surely will go crazy near the end. I just REALLY hope she's tolerable unlike the last temp we had come in. I hope my last week at my job isn't miserable.

I did have a nice walk home from work today. Walking home from work is really one of the highlights of my days these days. It has been since college that I've been able to walk to and from work. I love putting my ipod on and walking out the door. It's really enjoyable and it's at least two miles a day that I'm walking. Even if I don't have time for the gym at least I'm doing that. I guess I walk about 2 times a week and bike the other days.

I also made myself a nice yummy lunch for tomorrow. I'm having an egg salad sandwich and a salad with mixed greens, cucumber, carrot, peppers, and cheese. Oh, and Goddess Dressing of COURSE.

Cutie text messaged me to tell me that she got to hold hands with Amanda Palmer at the True Colors concer today. :/ It's allowable since she's on "the list". My list includes such famous people as - Tilda Swinton, Carrie Brownstein, Wayne Coyne to name a few.
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I'm really getting excited to start my new job. Today I overheard a conversation in my office that made me roll my eyes so hard they almost got stuck. I'm pretty bored with the work. I guess that's a sign that it's time. I will miss my cubemates a lot. I'll still see them several times a week, but that's not the same as rolling my chair over to say hi or share candy.

In my new job I will get to work with men again. I've kind of missed working with men. I will also work FOR a couple of men. It's not that I mind working with an entire female staff, I just feel like there's more drama than there needs to be at times. (and I'm not saying I'm not part of the drama). I just think it's good to have a balance between the genders. When I worked at both of my lab jobs I worked with some great guys. I miss those guys sometimes.

Tonight's agenda includes laundry, cleaning, cooking and everything else that doesn't get done when I'm with Cutie. I tried to do laundry at her house but I realized that half of my clothes are hang-dry only and it's just a pain in the arse. I'd rather do it somewhere that I leave them to hang for awhile. Besides, I'm sure she doesn't want my biking shorts draped all over her house.

I'm thinking that I might do something radical with my new pay raise. I might not spend the extra money at all. I don't know. It's going to be hard. What I'm thinking is I might just keep living in the same manner, with the same budget, but put the extra funds straight to my debt and help pay it off even quicker. I think that's the smart thing to do. I try and be a responsible adult sometimes...

Last night Cutie took me to The Melting Pot to celebrate my new job. I haven't been in two years or so. I'm not crazy about anything there, EXCEPT the fondue. Which is the whole point. It's like The Olive Garden of fondue, but it's GOOD. It was dangerous the two of us with fondue forks trying to share. Two frantic cheese lovers sharing boiling hot cheese is intense. There was some competition at the end, but she let me have the last bite. Of BOTH the cheese fondue and the chocolate. She's so sweet it hurts.
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I finally saw my GP today about the suspicious spot on my shoulder and she seemed only mildly concerned, which is a huge relief. She gave me the choice of biopsying it today or waiting another very watchful 2-3 months to see if it changes. I decided to wait on it. Especially since I've got someone else who can regularly check it for me too. ;) I'm not a fan of the punch biopsy. It's really painful, despite what anyone says. The location of this spot (right on the back of my shoulder bone) would cause for slow healing and a lot of pain. I'm going to try and manifest it into a normal mole.

I have a cold. A mild one, but it's annoying enough to make me ultra-crabby at work. Everyone was annoying me this afternoon. I felt like the all waited until 2:30 to ask for what they needed. And they needed it RIGHT NOW.

I had a peanut butter banana smoothie at lunch which temporarily calmed me, but then I was cranky once I got back to the office again. I highly recommend the peanut butter banana smoothie at World Wrapps if you ever go there. I know, it doesn't sound good, but if you like peanut butter...

I'm going to take a nice long bubbly bubble bath. Then I'm going to eat a big burrito with black beans, rice, cheese, salsa, onions, lettuce, and sour cream. My stomach is fine fortunately. Then I'm going to read my book, write in my journal and generally do nothing.

I don't think I'll see the gf tonight. I need at least one night off here or there. It's completely tempting to invite her over, and I know she'll say yes. And she might even be in my neighborhood tonight, but I feel like I should resist. If she comes over I'll end up horizontal, but not resting. I need to rest.
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I'm melting....melllllllllllllllting. It's so hot. I've had enough. It can go back below 80 now thankyouverymuch. Blech. I can't deal. I think I'd be OK with it, but for some reason today I'm also have this really weird lightheaded feeling too. It only seems to happen when I go from sitting/lying to standing. This is not unusual for me, but it's pretty extreme today. I think it's the combination of allergy medication, coffee (lots of coffee), and heat that's making me feel this way. I'd really like to go to the grocery store and do laundry but I keep feeling really weak. I ate a sandwich and had about a gallon of water. Hopefully that will help?

It has been a marvelous weekend with NSF. I think I feel safe calling her my girlfriend now. I like that when I've been with her for awhile I have this longing sort of feeling when we part company. Not in a bad codependent way, just this sort of satisfied feeling that I'll see her again soon and I'll probably swoon again.

We spent a little bit of time in Georgetown which makes me really happy. I've only spent a teeny amount of time in Georgetown before but now I have a reason to go there since she lives pretty close. Part of me likes that she lives 15 minutes away because it's an excuse to get off of The Big Gay Hill. It also keeps us from spending every waking moment together which is bad for me in relationships. It kills it for me FAST. I desperately need to have my alone time. In part for me, but also to think about her and to think about us.

I'm not crazy about the idea of working tomorrow and I'm also not crazy that my momma has to fly to Oklahoma early tomorrow morning. My aunt is not doing well at all. She's very sick and I think it's close to her time to say goodbye. She has been sick for so long. So uncomfortable for so long.

Two Letters

Jun. 1st, 2007 06:24 pm
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Dear friend and coworker,

I know you have some esteem issues. You do not like your body. You feel friendless, lonely, and alone at times lately. Even through your extreme depression I can see that you are an amazing person with a great deal to offer the world. You are not ugly even though you think you are, you are very funny, and you are whip smart. However, there are days when your esteem issues cause you to lash out at those around you. Namely me. I realize that you are very serious about weight loss and getting in shape and strive to be a size four by summer's end. I congratulate you on your efforts. But I wish you wouldn't compare me to you. I know that our bodies are very similar in size, but I do not have the aspirations to be a size four. I spent many years hating my body and cursing my round hips and bottom. I got over it. I love my body, my booty, my hips, my pale skin, my blonde hair. I have big, strong, muscles. I can swim and bike better than most lay people. I am not weak. I had to work hard to love myself first and then I realized I came in a nice package too. I don't want to be a four and it's really not a realistic aspiration when you've been a 10 or bigger since you were 12. Please stop commenting on what I'm eating and calculating how long it has been since I've been to the gym. Leave your judgments to yourself.

Dear Doctor,

I know that by working with cancer patients you are a very important person, but did you know that you're no more important than anyone else? Yep, that's right. I'm just as important as you, so is the homeless guy that shits in our bathroom, and the lady that made your sandwich at lunch today, and the women that clean our office. It's shocking huh? Just because you went through medical school DOESN'T MAKE YOU GOD. Nor does it give you the right to speak to me so condescendingly, so rudly, so brashly to me in front of three other people.
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Can I tell you what a joy my life is right now? I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face. (okay maybe it's not a full smile until I've had my coffee) Whether I'm alone or not. I know part of it is have this NSF in my life, but even before I met NSF I felt like my life was going in the right direction. Sunday will be four weeks since our first date. Uh-mazing. I don't know what else to say about it. She's amazing. It's all still so very much in it's infancy, but I feel a sense that this is not a short-term thing. Only time will tell.

I'm enjoying my new apartment as well. I have been here for about a month and a half and it feels more like home. I think the house I grew-up in will always be my true "home", but as I get older (and yes this is corny) I find that home really is in your heart.

Next goals:

1. Take better care of my friend at work. This is a person who needs my friendship (and I feel like I need hers, I certainly enjoy hers) Right before I met NSF we were starting to develop a non-work bond. She is depressed off and on and very alone. I feel like I should nurture our friendship more. I have the strength to do it now, whereas before I moved I didn't have it so much.

2. Continue to manifest that perfect job.
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I tried to go for a bike ride tonight. I haven't ridden Ruby, my zippy racing bike in awhile. I honestly don't think I've ridden that bike since last October. I've just been riding my beater bike to work and back. I forgot that there's actual SKILL involved in riding Ruby. Clipping and unclipping myself from the pedals, shifting without messing up the gears, and braking without killing myself. I picked an annoying time of day and a bad route for a bike ride. There was a ton of traffic, pedestrians, and other bikers. Lame ass hipster bikers on single tracks with no helmet and no ability to climb a hill to save their life. I know it's REALLY HARD to unclip while you're at a red light, but if circling around and balancing yourself on your bike is going to endanger me; then you should consider putting one foot down. Stupid hipster bikers.

I have not been to the gym in two weeks. Maybe once. It's time to get back there. That's a LONG TIME for me. I'm starting to feel really antsy. My schedule has changed though. I've decided I can't do the early morning thing through the summer. I'm not sure if I will take a break from the gym to do masters swimming or not. It's about the same price as the gym, but I kind of want to have the option of both. Decisions, decisions...

I also need to find a better bike route off of The Big Gay Hill for long bike rides.

I have a recruiter at work helping me to find a new position at work. I am really excited about the possibilities. I've been thinking about exactly what I'd like to do. I tried to verbalize it all in an email. She asked me what I was ideally looking for and I was really honest. I only put in one sentence about what I don't want. I try to stay away from saying what I don't want.

Someday maybe NSF will go for a bike ride with me. I think she's scared to bike with me. Everyone is scared to bike with me. I'm really not that fast. Really.
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I just had the BEST NAP EVER. I know, I'm always saying that. But seriously. This was a great nap. I biked home from work, drank a big glass of water, cooled off, and then crawled into my bed. I was so tired all day. I was up late last night and even though I can get up at 7:30 and still make to work on time, (heck I could get up at 8 and still make it to work on time); I didn't fall asleep until 2:30 am and woke up at 5 without being able to fall back asleep. I was OK until around lunchtime when the lack of sleep became like a heavy weight I was carrying around.

I napped for a solid 45 minutes and then woke up and hopped out of bed. I feel much better. Less cranky for sure. Of course after being awake for 10 minutes I was ravenous and ate a giant bowl of pasta with peppers, onions, garlic and tofurky sausage. Mmmm. I feel quite good. Quite happy. I'm sure it has a lot to do with NSF. My general state of mind has been great the past two weeks despite the fact that my schedule and my life have been flipped over upside down. When I'm not with her I feel this sweet, happy, bursting at the seams sensation in my heart if I think about her. It makes all of the other activities in my life more enjoyable somehow. I probably won't see her again until later this week or this weekend, but just the idea of it makes me grin from ear to ear.

Everyone was grumpy at work today. MAJORLY grumpy. I was tired as hell but I had a smile on the whole time.
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This morning I was so crabby I opted to be quiet rather than lash out at an unsuspecting coworker. I had my ipod on and managed to get through as much work as possible before our never-ending-staff-meeting-from-hell. My favorite coworker and cube-neighbor asked me at around 10:30 if I was feeling OK. I wasn't TALKING enough. I don't think anyone has ever, EVER told me I wasn't talking enough. I mean, I thought my name until I was 10 was "motormouth". (ok, I didn't, but I DID think it was Christabel And instead of Christabel Ann)

I started getting cramps after lunch and that clued me into the crabbiness. I'm feeling much, much nicer now.

I tried to put a load of laundry in to wash my favorite jeans but someone is hogging the machines. I NEED those jeans for date #2 tomorrow night. They would be fine but some drunken fool spilled beer all over me last weekend and I'm not going out with beer-stench on me. I suppose it doesn't matter what jeans I wear. Sigh. I could just wear my other, less well-fitting jeans. It's all about what's inside right?
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Today was a big day for me. I got my contact. Yes, just one. Normal people need two contacts, but I'm special. I have astigmatism in one lazy, sad, left eye. It was quite intense at the eye doctor. I wasn't nervous earlier this week but when I announced where I was going suddenly heads popped up over the cubicles to begin telling me - "ye old contact wearer horror stories". On the drive over I replayed stories of contacts that got stuck, contacts that flopped out, hot pepper sauce under contacts. Oh, and then there are all of my childhood memories of my mother getting something in her contact while driving. Or GOD FORBID losing a contact while driving. Immediately she would grab whichever kid was sitting next to her in and in an intense, stressed-out voice insist that we being looking for it because; "they cost $3000 dollars each, and WE'RE BROKE".

So there I am with my lovely 11-month pregnant eye doctor who asks me, "are you ready for this?" before wheeling her gigantic self as close as possible to have a look in my eye. "hmmmm, your eyes are really dry aren't they?, she says" I confessed to having stopped taking my allergy medicine because it was making me a homicidal maniac. I thought that she was just going to check my eye out, you know, make sure it was still contact appropriate. Ohhhh no. No no no. She actually had to be the one to put the contact into my eye first. There's nothing like a 250 pound, overly pregnant woman trying to plop a big, wet, toric lens into your eye. I had this uncontrollable reflex where every time she got close to my eye, one leg would kick up. We went through this routine at least five times before it stayed in. Once she got it into my eye I sat sort of like a stunned cat that has been forced into a collar for the first time. I mean, I could see; but at what price? THERE WAS SOMETHING IRRITATING IN MY EYE.

After she decided that the contact fit (Really? It fits? Because it feels like it's too big to me.) I had to go meet with the contact tutor. Apparently, you have to pass a test before they let you out onto the street with them. I had to successfully remove and replace the contact 3 times. There's nothing like someone staring DIRECTLY at you while you try and do this. I broke out in a small sweat and insisted that my eyes were clearly too dry for this and that maybe once was enough. Nuh-uh, nothing doing. She HAD to see me do it, THREE TIMES.
I finally passed my test, was given my contact goodie bag, and went back to the office. When I walked in, the receptionists immediately wanted to know how it went and I told them it was fine, fine. Just slightly awful. The FedEx guy just happened to be picking up at the same time. This is a man who makes it his mission in life to tease me every day because I'm always running up at 4:00 pm and 2 seconds to drop off one last package. When he found out I only needed one contact he looked at me, bust out laughing, and dubbed me "Left Eye" on the spot. I have a new nickname.

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March 2009

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